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rneerkat:

“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”

(via snorlaxatives)

Movie: Theirs was a forbidden love

Me: They are a white heterosexual couple who on earth is "forbidding" this

Movie: Their in-laws maybe

ven0moth:

i hate it when u sharpen ur pencil hella sharp and then right when u put pressure on it, it breaks like wtf pencil do ur job

(via fake-mermaid)

fruitcrocs:

fruitcrocs:

i love it when i cook stuff for myself bc like i’ve just cooked pasta and yee bitch look at me providing for myself i could totally make it in this world it’s almost as if i have my life together

i take this back the pasta was shit i’m falling apart

(via fake-mermaid)

(via heartless)

(via heartless)

malformalady:

Abandoned, overgrown swimming pool

(via heartless)

sobersexting:

babyferaligator:

BLIND PEOPLE CANT SEE NUDES 

image

(via heartless)

kevinguillermo:

when you sneeze in class and nobody says “bless you”

image

(via heartless)

snarg:

truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like

(via fake-mermaid)

(via heartless)

stability:

people who feel comfortable pooping anywhere other than their house are not to be trifled with

(via heartless)

beerito:

follow for more complaining

(via heartless)

rambozus:

itsmemorized:

Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
GRANDPA NO

Grandpa yes.

(via im-locked-in-a-whovian-impala)

(via heartless)